Everyone’s heard the old adage that the submissive partner has all the power, but does the dominant partner have all the responsibility?
While no one can deny that there are tremendous advantages to being the one who calls the shots, creating a satisfying, exciting, kinky experience for your partner is a lot of work.
There are the logistical challenges, like planning and safety preparation. There are also emotional challenges, like digging into intense fantasies without accidentally killing the mood or crossing a line.
Obviously, we think it’s all worth it, but it’s also worth thinking about how we can ease the burden. With too much give and not enough take, our beloved dominant partners can begin to feel like kink dispensers - even if they're being generously compensated with sexual favors.
If you ever need a break from kink, you can always lean into elements of sensual intimacy.
Showing your partner that they are loved and cherished for who they are (and not just their badass scary persona) can go a long way. For a truly kinky person, vanilla acts can be the thing that pushes you out of your comfort zone and expands your palate.
However, if you want to integrate some of this “rebalancing work” into your kinky life, we highly recommend service play.
Service play (like most BDSM terms) is pretty much what it sounds like. The submissive partner serves the dominant partner by attending to their needs. Basically, it’s the kinky version of the “acts of service” love language.
It’s a mechanism for the dominant partner to receive some of the tender love and care that's usually showered upon the sub. A possibility of punishment or reward based on performance and the vibes and protocols around the service set it apart from standard vanilla foreplay.
Many roleplay dynamics, like the French maid, have an element of service built-in, but we took it to the next level in Arabian Nights, our new Master & Slave adventure.
It’s a core tenet of Saturday Box to create an active, interesting role for the sub - one that still stays true to their natural submissive tendencies.
We made the creative choice to feature a slave who’s not a captive. This allows her to display a level of eagerness and enthusiasm without breaking character. We also help you with a framework for her term of enslavement, so she has the right incentives to take on a lot of the planning of the "scene."
And let’s be real. The concept of service play is excellent. The reality is that it can get a bit boring to wait at someone’s beck and call.
Boredom can be used as a tool to heighten submission, as both a way to enforce self-discipline and to provide a stark contrast to the intense activities to come (like impact play or deepthroating.)
In our opinion, the distinction between good boredom and bad boredom is that good boredom gives you a really meaty mental target to focus on - like the fear of imminent punishment. Or an unholy desire to please.
We include both in our Arabian Nights adventure and provide you with a built-in method for negotiating your limits, so that you never take on more than you can handle.
Give back to the hardworking dom in your life and add a bit of service play into your regular routine.
And if the planning feels a bit intimidating, try any of our all-inclusive adventures to take the burden off of both of you.
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